Crooked Little Vein
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Crooked Little Vein  
First edition cover
First US edition cover
Author Warren Ellis
Country United States
Language English
Genre(s) Thriller novel
Publisher William Morrow
Publication date July 24, 2007
Media type Print (Hardback)
Pages 304 pp (first edition, hardback)
ISBN ISBN 0060723939 (first edition, hardback)

Crooked Little Vein is writer Warren Ellis's first novel, published by William Morrow in July 2007.

The novel is written in the first-person, similar to much of the hard-boiled detective genre. The book was based on research material posted on Ellis' website and the now defunct www.diepunyhumans.com, mostly odd news items and disturbing pictures from the web that the author had found or had been sent.

The novel has been translated into Spanish and German.

Plot summary

Michael McGill, a burned-out private eye is hired by a corrupt White House Chief of Staff to find a second "secret" US Constitution, which had been lost in a whorehouse by Richard Nixon. What follows is a scavenger hunt across America, exposing its seedier side along the way. McGill is joined by surreal college student side-kick, Trix, who is writing a thesis on sexual fetishes .

McGill also has to deal with random insanity sometimes unrelated to his adventures – he is a self-confessed 'shit-magnet', weirdness follows him wherever he goes.

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